


Two! (dumbasses) for the Price of One!

by MysticaltigerSorceress



Category: One Piece
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Friend doing their best to help out two dumbasses, Friends Want To Rip Their Hair Out Because YOU BOTH LIKE EACHOTHER SO JUST KISS ALREADY, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Other, idk what else to tag this as someone help me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27806224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticaltigerSorceress/pseuds/MysticaltigerSorceress
Summary: Mirahaki and Ikkaku are shopping; Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo    stop by, and Ikkaku and Shachi are ready to tear their hair out at their two friends pointless pining.
Relationships: Penguin (One Piece)/OC
Kudos: 7





	Two! (dumbasses) for the Price of One!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [issatheartist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/issatheartist/gifts).



> a/n: Hello! I did an exchange with a friend of mine, [Issa](https://issatheartist.tumblr.com/), and wrote a scenario about her Oc, Mirahaki! I hope y'all enjoy this, and keep an eye out, I'll be back and posting on my own story soon :3 <3

A small bell rang overhead as Shachi entered the clothing shop, Penguin and Bepo trailing close behind. He had seen Ikkaku drag Mirahaki inside earlier, raving about something she’d seen in the window. However, neither of their two crew mates could be seen from a quick glance around, so the pirates pressed onward into the store, vaguely browsing as they went to keep the sharp-eyed shop-keep from (immediately) throwing them out. 

“Ikkaku! Mirahaki! You two in here still?” Shachi yelled, earning a glare from the shop-keep. It wasn't like they had a sign saying you can’t be loud inside.

“Over here!” A familiar voice called and he spotted Ikkaku at the back of the shop. She waved a yellow jacket at them as they joined her. “Look what I found! Do you like it?” She held it up to herself so they could picture how it would look on her.

“Naw, it’s too bright.” Bepo deadpanned. Penguin snorted as Ikkaku gave Bepo the evil eye.

“Says the one wearing bright orange.” She scoffed, eying the Mink’s boiler suit. 

Bepo’s head cocked slightly to the side in a way that was far too cute for such a deadly pirate. “What’s wrong with orange?”

Ikkaku sighed and shook her head. “Nothing, nothing at all.” Bepo missed the hint of sarcasm in her statement and poked through the rack behind her, quietly wondering aloud if they had anything in his size.

“Hey, where’s Haki-chan, I thought she was with you?” Penguin asked, but it was fairly obvious their friend wasn’t in sight.

“Ah, she’s in the dressing room.” Ikkaku gestured to the closed door behind her. 

Bepo turned and held up a white, child-sized t-shirt with a frog on it. “Think this will fit me?”

“OF COURSE IT WON’T!” Ikkaku and Shachi blurted out, and Bepo’s head drooped forward glumly.

Penguin shook his head. “Well, once you two are finished, we need you back... back at… tang at the–” Penguin's eyes widened and his jaw slightly dropped, the smallest sound like he was choking as he tried to remember what he was saying.

Mirahaki twirled a little as she emerged from the dressing room, apparently not noticing how Penguin was tripping over his own tongue at her appearance. The wide neckline of the fitted blouse showed off her compass rose tattoo just beneath her right clavicle nicely, and a simple pair of fitted shorts with stockings and her iconic boots completed the simple yet striking look. 

“Well, what do you think?” Mirahaki asked through the mirror, frowning and adjusting the outfit as she decided how she felt about the clothes.

Shachi rolled his eyes and elbowed Penguin in the ribs hard enough that he started coughing. Peng was surprisingly similar to the Polar Tang; if it stopped working, just give it a well placed smack, see if that fixes the problem. The elbowing seemed to do the trick.

“You look great, Haki-chan,” Penguin said.

“Thanks!” Mirahaki smiled at Penguin through the mirror. “I really like how this top fits me. Also, nice pick on the shorts Ikkaku-chan!” The curly brunette nodded smugly and gave her a thumbs up.

“The stockings are also a nice touch,” Shachi added, elbowing Penguin again, this time much more subtly and wiggled his eyebrows at his friend. Penguin’s cheeks grew red and he dragged Shachi away quickly, mumbling some excuse about looking for a scarf.

Ikkaku smirked at Penguins reaction, and tugged Mirahaki to the rack. 

“So, I think Penguin likes your outfit.”

Mirahaki snorted. “If he said he didn’t like it I’d punch him. Besides, he ran a way pretty fast.”

Ikkaku tsked and shook her head. “On the contrary, I don’t think he could keep his eyes off of you.” She tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow, smiling mischievously and hoping Mirahaki would get what she was hinting at.

Mirahaki simply rolled her eyes and softly shook her head, frowning. “All the guys are like that. Penguin-kun doesn’t see me like that.”

“He  _ totally _ does! You think he gets tongue tangled like that for just anyone?”

“He couldn’t say the word water yesterday.”

Ikkaku huffed. “And yet, here he is, blushing like an idiot, trying to hide in the scarves.”

Mirahaki sighed. Ikkaku had been trying for quite some time now to get her to pursue something with Penguin, but what good was it? They’d known each other for a long time. She might’ve only started liking him in the last year or so, and she might not have been  _ super  _ obvious about it, but if he were interested, he would’ve done  _ something _ by now, right?

“Whatever,” She ended up sighing. “I’m not getting my hopes up. It’s fine! I’ll just keep admiring from a distance.”

“But, imagine if you were admiring from up close.” Ikkaku grinned wickedly up at her, and laughed when her cheeks got a dusting of blush on them.

“Shut up!” She muttered, averting her eyes. Mirahaki couldn’t help her eyes from wandering over to the red pom-pom that rested atop Penguins hat. He and Shachi were whispering furiously at each other, and she wondered what they were talking about.

As she stared, she missed Ikkaku clenching her fist and taking a deep breath. Sometimes, she wondered if it’d be worth helping get these two idiots together.

~~

“Come on, man! Just go ask Mirahaki on a date! Easy peasy!”

“Not easy peasy!” Penguin hissed, “If I ask her out and she doesn’t want to be asked out, there’s a ninety percent chance she’ll skin me alive!”

“Nah, she’d probably just… well…” Shachi frowned. “NO! No one is getting skinned! She’s probably just  _ waiting _ for you to ask her! Or, drop a hint! Something!  _ ANYTHING _ !” Shachi was practically begging Penguin at this point. It was bad enough that Penguin had been quietly crushing on her for like, two years now. But now that he and Ikkaku had confirmed that now Mirahaki  _ was _ interested in Penguin, the mutual, dumbass pining from both sides was going to be the death of them!

Penguin tugged on the brim of his hat to hide his eyes. “If she was really interested, she probably would ask me out herself. But last I checked, she was more interested in the Cap.” 

“Or  _ maybe _ someone is being such an idiot about it they aren’t even noticing that they are  _ clearly _ being pined over.” Shachi looked pointedly at him, only to get smacked in the chest.

“Don’t call Haki-chan an idiot! I’m the one pining like a lovesick idiot!”

It took everything in Shachi not to face palm at his friend's idiotic misinterpretation.

“It’s fine, Shach. We’re crew mates. It’s probably for the best we don’t date. There’ll be no- well, less drama that way.” Penguin sighed and glumly poked through the clothing rack. After a beat, he pulled a strapless, feathered dress from the clothing rack. “If only.”

“If only what?” Penguin nearly jumped at Mirahaki’s voice behind him. He whipped around, she was poking at a display full of sunglasses behind him. He looked at the dress in his hands and back at her.

“I know dresses aren’t your thing, hard to fight in and all, but maybe you could just try this on? I… think you’d look super cute in it.” Penguin tried for a weak smile.

Mirahaki eyed the dress and frowned. “I don’t think it’s my size, Penguin-kun. I wouldn’t want to break it.” He couldn’t really argue with that logic. She was over two meters tall, and it’d suck to pay for something you couldn’t wear. Not that they necessarily had to pay for it, being pirates and all.

“That looks like it’s Captain’s size.” Bepo reappeared.

“WHY WOULD CAPTAIN WEAR SOMETHING LIKE THIS?” Penguin and Shachi yelled at Bepo, who dropped his head dejectedly and apologized.

Mirahaki stopped looking through the sunglasses and smile slowly took over her face. She took the dress from Penguin and looked it over. 

“How much do you wanna bet I can get Law to wear this?”

“Laundry duty.”

“500 beri.”

“Bathroom duty.”

“A jar of fish.”

“Extended for every hour I get him to wear it?” She grinned devilishly at her friends.

“Up to four hours!” Ikkaku consented.

Mirahaki ran out with the dress in hand, the shopkeeper's shrieking about payment falling on deaf ears. Ikkaku tossed some money for the clothes on the counter and ran after Mirahaki, Bepo close on their tail. 

“Come on, Peng!” Shachi walked after them, not checking to see if his friend was following.

Penguin started to follow, but stopped and turned back to the sunglasses display. Mirahaki had been poking at a certain pair; circular, with dark, reflective lenses. Did she like them? They seemed to be her style. On impulse, he pocketed them when the shop-keep wasn’t looking and walked after his crew mates. Perhaps he’d give them to her later; hopefully, she’d like them.


End file.
